In article , James Farrar
writes
On Sat, 30 Sep 2006 08:02:36 +0100, Jonathan Morton
wrote:

Mizter T wrote:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/kent/5093714.stm

The story seems to imply that it's the Dartford road tunnels that are
more at risk, but nontheless an "extreme tidal even" could flood the
CTRL tunnels at Dartford. Bluewater could also live up to it's name.

I particularly like the revelation that the CTRL Thames tunnel is
"low-lying". Consultants are sure on the ball these days.

"to consult", v: Hybrid of "to con" and "to insult".


A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a
young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leans out the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how
many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his AT&T cell phone. He surfs to a NASA page on the Internet,
where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix
on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans
the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within
seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been
processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex
formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his blackberry and,
after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a
full-color, 150-page report on his hi- tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet
printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly
1,586 sheep."


"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep.," says the
honest shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and
looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, Why
not?"

"You're a consultant." says the shepherd. "Wow! That's correct," says
the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"


"No guessing required." answered the savvy shepherd, "You showed up here
even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
already knew; to a question I never asked; and you don't know crap about
my business.

"Now give me back my dog.!"
--
Tony Sayer