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Old April 29th 04, 08:27 AM posted to uk.transport.london
CJG Now Thankfully Living In The North CJG  Now Thankfully Living In The North is offline
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First recorded activity at LondonBanter: Oct 2003
Posts: 93
Default How to spot ****s on the underground....


1) Walk to barrier
2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour
later is for
3) Open handbag (because it usually is a woman)
4) Rake around in handbag for a bit
5) Get out purse
6) Find ticket in purse
7) Try to insert ticket in top of machine
8) Realise mistake and insert ticket in the front of the machine
9) Stand there for a bit wondering why gates haven't opened
10) Take ticket from machine, gates open
11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through
12) Pass through the barrier

.... or is it just me who comes across these idiots?


Unfortunely London Underground do not offer a resdential training
course for customers about how to use ticket barriers. So those scum
that dare to use London Underground for the first time or only
occasionaly should obviously be banned. If people not going through
ticket barriers in less than 5.8 seconds bothers you so much why not
just use a different gate?
As a casual user of London Underground it is blantly obvious to me its
the regular users who can go through the gates at London Underground
who are the problem. These people usually travel before 9am and after
5pm and do one or more of the following:

1) Tut loudly when your valid ticket flashes up "Seek Assistance" and
then glare at you like your scum when you try and find someone to help
2) Interupt and shout at staff until they get attention when their
ticket does the same even if the member of staff is busy
3) Refers to the tourists who add billions of pounds to the economy
anually as "f*cking tourists". Miss "I Live in Sussex But Come In
London To Make Money Because A Job Where I Live Doesn't Pay So Much
and Probably Have Slightly Less Right To Be London Than The Tourists
Who Actually Are Spending Nights In London Even If Its In A Hotel" you
know who you are.
4) Does not see anyone else when they crash into them. Collide with
them. Kick their things.
5)Can not understand why when your holding on to a laptop case and two
other bags crushed on a train trying to keep your balance as there is
nothing to hold on and the station comes into a station you do not
leap out of there way straight away but infact waits until the train
comes to a stop or about to come to a stop ignoring their "excuse
me's" when start 3 seconds after they discover they are smaller than
you and can not budge you out of the way.

I prefer the people who don't know how to use the ticket machines. Or
the gates. Or can't understand the map. Or stand in the door because
they don't think about moving down the platform for the simple reason
that at least these people are polite. If you ask them to move out of
the way from standing in the middle of the passage staring at the map
they will. Not just look at you as those things with legs and arms
that are on the train when I get on the train don't usually talk why
is this one talking?