Peter Goodland wrote:
boeuf

Your use of this word reminds me that there is a rule on French trains,
that if you are unable to buy a ticket before boarding the train (or
validate a pre-purchased ticket),
you must make yourself known to the on-train staff immediately on boarding.

This means that you are caught without a ticket having sat down, you were
intending to evade payment.

Of course this wouldn't work here on trains with DOO

Reminds me of one of my more endearing memories of Connex SE. I leave
work on a Friday afternoon to go up to London for the evening (I had a
sesason ticket to Gravesend for normal travel). Ticket office is shut
(not supposed to be). No PTT machine on the station. Quickfare machine
is broken (vandalized). I phone connex "customer services", and it goes
something like this:

me: "I'm at Belvedere station, trying to travel up to London. This is a
penalty fare zone, but the ticket office is shut and the only machine is
broken. What should I do?"
Connex: "Board the next train and find the conductor on board who can
sell you a ticket."
me: "These are driver only trains. There is no conductor."
Connex: "Oh" [long pause] "um" [further pause] "you'll have to buy one
at your destination then."

Robin