) gurgled happily, sounding much like they
were saying :

Why dont you just buy a newspaper? You do realise the Daily Star has
more editorial comment than the Metro which has none.

Because I've already listened to yesterday's news yesterday, and today's
news today on Radio 4 before I catch the train.

I just want some vacuous crap to save me from viciously murdering my fellow
passengers, since I forgot to chuck a book in my bag. Metro fits the bill
nicely.