Too many smelly people in London
 

X-posted to u.t.l & u.t for added merriment
"Seanie O'Kilfoyle" wrote in message
news:sbrjc.9$n52.8@newsfe6-win...

"john" wrote in message
...

"Eugene Kent" wrote in message
...
You'll get use to it.

What are you sick?

Do you have some sort of armpit fetish, or stinky fat person fetish.

You dont get used to it.

John.



Use your own vehicle then

You'll have to pay an extra £5:00 per day CONgestion tax (more than
probably
rising to £10:00 if you don't vote Londons 'Mare, Mad Ken Living****e out
in
June) and about £20 a day for parking in central London

You'll get snide looks and abusive remarks from trendy neo-leftists &
Hippies on rusty push-bikes who'll think you're the anti-Christ

BUT.........

You'll enjoy a seamles Door-to-door service

The only **** you'll smell is your own ****

You get to chose your own music

You can make eye-contact with your fellow commuters without them thinking
you're about to murder them

You set your own temperature (providing you have a decent enough vehicle)

You are the master of your own destiny and not at the mercy of :

Leaves on the line

Wrong kind of snow

"Passenger action"

"Security Alerts"

Millitant trade unionists

"Points, (Signal / Mechanical) failure"

"Staff Shortages"

Spontaneous combustion

The queue for the ticket machine

Jobsworth who can't let you on without the right change

Overcrowded buses / trains / trams / tubes that can't pick you up because
they are full

The singing drunk who somehow always manages to sit right next you

Reckless Drivers (& tram / train / tube operators)

Pickpockets

Theives

Druggies

Yobs

Pushers and shovers

Airborne viruses

Beggars

Grafitti "artists"

Window etchers

Seat Slashers

Urinators

Vigillantes

Suicide bombers (and other assorted terrorists)

Vagrants

Maurauding posses of yoof gangs

Vandals

Persons relaeased early under the Mental Health acts "Care in the
community"
program

Bitter, twisted, dissafected and miserable drivers, guards, station staff
etc

Neo Nazi "Revenue Protection" officers

'Mare Ken commuting home

And a whole crowd of edgy, paranoid punters living in constant fear of the
above

Too many smelly people in London
 

"Seanie O'Kilfoyle" wrote in message
news:uyrjc.12$n52.2@newsfe6-win...

Use your own vehicle then

You'll have to pay an extra £5:00 per day CONgestion tax (more than
probably
rising to £10:00 if you don't vote Londons 'Mare, Mad Ken Living****e
out
in
June) and about £20 a day for parking in central London

You'll get snide looks and abusive remarks from trendy neo-leftists &
Hippies on rusty push-bikes who'll think you're the anti-Christ

BUT.........

You'll enjoy a seamles Door-to-door service

Or nearest parking space you can find at either end of your journey.


The only **** you'll smell is your own ****

You obviously haven't been near Barking reach or the farm next to the A13
near the Basildon turnoff!


You get to chose your own music

You can make eye-contact with your fellow commuters without them
thinking
you're about to murder them

You set your own temperature (providing you have a decent enough
vehicle)


Only if you have aircon, but then you'll still be inhaling more toxic fumes
than you would on the Underground.

You are the master of your own destiny and not at the mercy of :

[loads snipped]

Instead you'll be stuck in traffic jams that appear for no good reason. Be
subject to traffic signal failures, aggressive drivers, cyclists who think
red lights don't apply to them and people who think your windscreen could do
with extra smears from some dirty water and attempt to charge you for this!
Don't forget, you're more at risk of car-jacking whilst you're driving a car
than you are whilst travelling by tube!

Too many smelly people in London
 

"Seanie O'Kilfoyle" wrote in
news:uyrjc.12$n52.2@newsfe6-win:

snip


BUT.........

You'll enjoy a seamles Door-to-door service

The only **** you'll smell is your own ****

I can fully agree with this. I used to drive Metropoliton line trains and
once opened a Sainsburys carrier bag full of ****, when reversing my train
at Aldgate....

snip

MrBitsy

Too many smelly people in London
 

MrBitsy wrote:

"Seanie O'Kilfoyle" wrote in
news:uyrjc.12$n52.2@newsfe6-win:

snip


BUT.........

You'll enjoy a seamles Door-to-door service

The only **** you'll smell is your own ****

I can fully agree with this. I used to drive Metropoliton line trains and
once opened a Sainsburys carrier bag full of ****, when reversing my train
at Aldgate....

Mortal souls might query why you were opening a Sainsbury's carrier
bag /and/ reversing your train at the same time. Didn't you need your eyes
for, ooh, I dunno, making sure you don't hit anyone?

As to why you took a bag of **** into the cab in the first place...!
--
Al

Too many smelly people in London
 

MrBitsy wrote in message the track?

I actually put it under a seat for the engineering staff to deal with at
the depot.


Was the train on a depot journey then, after its reversal ? Your original
post sounded like you were just reversing to go out North again, with
a bag of faeces.

Richard [in PO7]

Too many smelly people in London
 

On 28 Apr 2004, Richard M Willis wrote:

MrBitsy wrote in message the track?

I actually put it under a seat for the engineering staff to deal with at
the depot.

Was the train on a depot journey then, after its reversal ? Your
original post sounded like you were just reversing to go out North
again, with a bag of faeces.

For me, this post was right after the 'urgent moment' thread - i thought
something truly radical had been revealed!

tom

--
Don't trust the laws of men. Trust the laws of mathematics.