d wrote :
They're not called Silverstink for nothing. The trains that go from
Richmond past Dalston (I forget where they terminate) never have guards on.

North Woolwich or Stratford. And I think you mistyped "never" for
"always" - look in the back cab (it's not far from where you're
standing to get on, they're only 3-car units) and there'll be someone
operating the doors and ringing the bell. The guard doesn't do revenue
duties, largely because the stops are only 3-4 minutes apart so s/he
wouldn't be able to get back to the cab in time to work the doors. But
this is presumably why Silverlink don't care over-much about broken
OPO monitors - they're relevant to LUL trains only. Annoying in a
railway-fragmentation sense, but reasonable for SL.

There's usually one grumpy looking unfortunate driver (I don't blame the
drivers, obviously), and that's it. I've seen one ticket inspection on the
train, and inspectors at the exit about 4 or 5 times at different stations
down the line.

Yup, sounds about right. Therefore...

The ticket halls are usually closed at ridiculous hours, or
they don't have change or some other silly reason for them adding extra
angst to your journey.

....this bit isn't actually very angst-ful, since the penalty fares only
operate when you could have bought a ticket but didn't. Anyone know if
SL Metro guards are trained to sell tickets if you go to their cab and
ask them?

--
John Band
e: john at johnband dot org
w: www.johnband.org