On Nov 21, 3:33 pm, elyob wrote:
On the train out of Waterloo last night, an announcement came over the
tannoy :

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been brought to my attention that there
is a beggar on board the train. This is the Guard. If he approaches
you for money, please do not give any. Thankyou."

My favourite, from many years ago (late 80s or early 90s) was.

"We apologize for the delay to this service. This is due to a train on
the track"

Tim.