On Nov 21, 3:33 pm, elyob wrote:
On the train out of Waterloo last night, an announcement came over the
tannoy :

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been brought to my attention that there
is a beggar on board the train. This is the Guard. If he approaches
you for money, please do not give any. Thankyou."

My favourite, from many years ago (late 80s or early 90s) was.

"We apologize for the delay to this service. This is due to a train on
the track"

Tim.

" )
gurgled happily, sounding much like they were saying:

My favourite, from many years ago (late 80s or early 90s) was.

"We apologize for the delay to this service. This is due to a train on
the track"

I've had very similar - "We apologise for the delay to this train. I've
been told by control that this is due to trains on the line in the
vicinity of Baker St Station".

Personal favourite? I reckon they'd had it ready, just _crying_ out for
an excuse... "There are delays on Hammersmith & City and District
services. This is due to a dog on the Barking line."