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How to spot twats on the underground....
Detrained at Lambeth North this morning. Lanky bald ******* got into
the lift just as the doors opened, and then stood there repeatedly punching the operation button until they closed again. When he went through the barriers, it flashed up "child" on the display. He even had the gall to then not leave as quickly as possible, but rather stood using the payphone next to the entrance. ****. If I wasn't already very late for work, I would have grassed him up to the guy in the ticket office, although I wonder when they would have bothered doing anything.... -- Nick Cooper [Carefully remove the detonators from my e-mail address to reply!] The London Underground at War: http://www.cwgcuser.org.uk/personal/...ra/lu/tuaw.htm 625-Online - classic British television: http://www.625.org.uk 'Things to Come' - An Incomplete Classic: http://www.thingstocome.org.uk |
How to spot twats on the underground....
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How to spot twats on the underground....
Nick Cooper wrote:
Detrained at Lambeth North this morning. Lanky bald ******* got into the lift just as the doors opened, and then stood there repeatedly punching the operation button until they closed again. When he went through the barriers, it flashed up "child" on the display. He even had the gall to then not leave as quickly as possible, but rather stood using the payphone next to the entrance. ****. Not as annoying as people getting through on your ticket by following closely behind. I'm trying to perfect the art of leaving it till the last possible moment before going through the barriers and them closing. Unfortunately my laptop bag makes this harder. And to broaden it a little, people that get onto a bus through the exit doors on the side (and don't pay). Dan |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Nick Cooper" wrote in
message ... On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 01:41:27 GMT, wrote: From the header, I was hoping for seating position/proper angle tips... Lesson 2: How to spot pervs on the Underground.... :-) Innocent I thought he was talking about the correct angle for helping a weightlifter. -- John Rowland - Spamtrapped Transport Plans for the London Area, updated 2001 http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acro...69/tpftla.html A man's vehicle is a symbol of his manhood. That's why my vehicle's the Piccadilly Line - It's the size of a county and it comes every two and a half minutes |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 08:37:14 +0100, Dan Gravell wrote:
Not as annoying as people getting through on your ticket by following closely behind. I'm trying to perfect the art of leaving it till the last possible moment before going through the barriers and them closing. Unfortunately my laptop bag makes this harder. Most auto barriers tend to have a sensor on the "other" side and will stay open for a while until one person (theoretically) has passed through. I have very often done the following without any problem getting through... 1) Put down coffee 2) Insert ticket 3) Remove ticket 4) Return ticket to wallet 5) Return wallet to pocket 6) Pick up coffee 7) Pass through barrier ....obviously not when the station is busy, mind! Neil -- Neil Williams in Milton Keynes, UK Mail me on neil at the above domain; mail to the above address is NOT read |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Neil Williams wrote:
Most auto barriers tend to have a sensor on the "other" side and will stay open for a while until one person (theoretically) has passed through. I have very often done the following without any problem getting through... 1) Put down coffee 2) Insert ticket 3) Remove ticket 4) Return ticket to wallet 5) Return wallet to pocket 6) Pick up coffee 7) Pass through barrier ...obviously not when the station is busy, mind! totally unlike most of the people I seem to get stuck behind.... 1) Walk to barrier 2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour later is for 3) Open handbag (because it usually is a woman) 4) Rake around in handbag for a bit 5) Get out purse 6) Find ticket in purse 7) Try to insert ticket in top of machine 8) Realise mistake and insert ticket in the front of the machine 9) Stand there for a bit wondering why gates haven't opened 10) Take ticket from machine, gates open 11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through 12) Pass through the barrier ..... or is it just me who comes across these idiots? |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Stuart wrote:
totally unlike most of the people I seem to get stuck behind.... 1) Walk to barrier 2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour later is for [snip] :D Don't get that much myself... but I suppose that's a dubious advantage of most of my travelling being through Streatham which, alas, doesn't have gates. I get this kinda thing more in supermarkets, but that's a bit OT ;) |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Stuart" wrote in message
... 11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through 12) Pass through the barrier .... or is it just me who comes across these idiots? Left handed ticket users can be hilarious. Some do a kind of contortion to use their left hand to insert the ticket. I even had one put the ticket in my slot on the next barrier to the left, which was nice of him :-) All these contortions and you can't help thinking how hard can it be to hold a ticket that weighs about 5 grams in your right hand ??!! -- Edward Cowling - London - UK |
How to spot twats on the underground....
1) Walk to barrier 2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour later is for 3) Open handbag (because it usually is a woman) 4) Rake around in handbag for a bit 5) Get out purse 6) Find ticket in purse 7) Try to insert ticket in top of machine 8) Realise mistake and insert ticket in the front of the machine 9) Stand there for a bit wondering why gates haven't opened 10) Take ticket from machine, gates open 11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through 12) Pass through the barrier .... or is it just me who comes across these idiots? Unfortunely London Underground do not offer a resdential training course for customers about how to use ticket barriers. So those scum that dare to use London Underground for the first time or only occasionaly should obviously be banned. If people not going through ticket barriers in less than 5.8 seconds bothers you so much why not just use a different gate? As a casual user of London Underground it is blantly obvious to me its the regular users who can go through the gates at London Underground who are the problem. These people usually travel before 9am and after 5pm and do one or more of the following: 1) Tut loudly when your valid ticket flashes up "Seek Assistance" and then glare at you like your scum when you try and find someone to help 2) Interupt and shout at staff until they get attention when their ticket does the same even if the member of staff is busy 3) Refers to the tourists who add billions of pounds to the economy anually as "f*cking tourists". Miss "I Live in Sussex But Come In London To Make Money Because A Job Where I Live Doesn't Pay So Much and Probably Have Slightly Less Right To Be London Than The Tourists Who Actually Are Spending Nights In London Even If Its In A Hotel" you know who you are. 4) Does not see anyone else when they crash into them. Collide with them. Kick their things. 5)Can not understand why when your holding on to a laptop case and two other bags crushed on a train trying to keep your balance as there is nothing to hold on and the station comes into a station you do not leap out of there way straight away but infact waits until the train comes to a stop or about to come to a stop ignoring their "excuse me's" when start 3 seconds after they discover they are smaller than you and can not budge you out of the way. I prefer the people who don't know how to use the ticket machines. Or the gates. Or can't understand the map. Or stand in the door because they don't think about moving down the platform for the simple reason that at least these people are polite. If you ask them to move out of the way from standing in the middle of the passage staring at the map they will. Not just look at you as those things with legs and arms that are on the train when I get on the train don't usually talk why is this one talking? |
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