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How to spot twats on the underground....
Detrained at Lambeth North this morning. Lanky bald ******* got into
the lift just as the doors opened, and then stood there repeatedly punching the operation button until they closed again. When he went through the barriers, it flashed up "child" on the display. He even had the gall to then not leave as quickly as possible, but rather stood using the payphone next to the entrance. ****. If I wasn't already very late for work, I would have grassed him up to the guy in the ticket office, although I wonder when they would have bothered doing anything.... -- Nick Cooper [Carefully remove the detonators from my e-mail address to reply!] The London Underground at War: http://www.cwgcuser.org.uk/personal/...ra/lu/tuaw.htm 625-Online - classic British television: http://www.625.org.uk 'Things to Come' - An Incomplete Classic: http://www.thingstocome.org.uk |
How to spot twats on the underground....
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How to spot twats on the underground....
Nick Cooper wrote:
Detrained at Lambeth North this morning. Lanky bald ******* got into the lift just as the doors opened, and then stood there repeatedly punching the operation button until they closed again. When he went through the barriers, it flashed up "child" on the display. He even had the gall to then not leave as quickly as possible, but rather stood using the payphone next to the entrance. ****. Not as annoying as people getting through on your ticket by following closely behind. I'm trying to perfect the art of leaving it till the last possible moment before going through the barriers and them closing. Unfortunately my laptop bag makes this harder. And to broaden it a little, people that get onto a bus through the exit doors on the side (and don't pay). Dan |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Nick Cooper" wrote in
message ... On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 01:41:27 GMT, wrote: From the header, I was hoping for seating position/proper angle tips... Lesson 2: How to spot pervs on the Underground.... :-) Innocent I thought he was talking about the correct angle for helping a weightlifter. -- John Rowland - Spamtrapped Transport Plans for the London Area, updated 2001 http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acro...69/tpftla.html A man's vehicle is a symbol of his manhood. That's why my vehicle's the Piccadilly Line - It's the size of a county and it comes every two and a half minutes |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 08:37:14 +0100, Dan Gravell wrote:
Not as annoying as people getting through on your ticket by following closely behind. I'm trying to perfect the art of leaving it till the last possible moment before going through the barriers and them closing. Unfortunately my laptop bag makes this harder. Most auto barriers tend to have a sensor on the "other" side and will stay open for a while until one person (theoretically) has passed through. I have very often done the following without any problem getting through... 1) Put down coffee 2) Insert ticket 3) Remove ticket 4) Return ticket to wallet 5) Return wallet to pocket 6) Pick up coffee 7) Pass through barrier ....obviously not when the station is busy, mind! Neil -- Neil Williams in Milton Keynes, UK Mail me on neil at the above domain; mail to the above address is NOT read |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Neil Williams wrote:
Most auto barriers tend to have a sensor on the "other" side and will stay open for a while until one person (theoretically) has passed through. I have very often done the following without any problem getting through... 1) Put down coffee 2) Insert ticket 3) Remove ticket 4) Return ticket to wallet 5) Return wallet to pocket 6) Pick up coffee 7) Pass through barrier ...obviously not when the station is busy, mind! totally unlike most of the people I seem to get stuck behind.... 1) Walk to barrier 2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour later is for 3) Open handbag (because it usually is a woman) 4) Rake around in handbag for a bit 5) Get out purse 6) Find ticket in purse 7) Try to insert ticket in top of machine 8) Realise mistake and insert ticket in the front of the machine 9) Stand there for a bit wondering why gates haven't opened 10) Take ticket from machine, gates open 11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through 12) Pass through the barrier ..... or is it just me who comes across these idiots? |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Stuart wrote:
totally unlike most of the people I seem to get stuck behind.... 1) Walk to barrier 2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour later is for [snip] :D Don't get that much myself... but I suppose that's a dubious advantage of most of my travelling being through Streatham which, alas, doesn't have gates. I get this kinda thing more in supermarkets, but that's a bit OT ;) |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Stuart" wrote in message
... 11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through 12) Pass through the barrier .... or is it just me who comes across these idiots? Left handed ticket users can be hilarious. Some do a kind of contortion to use their left hand to insert the ticket. I even had one put the ticket in my slot on the next barrier to the left, which was nice of him :-) All these contortions and you can't help thinking how hard can it be to hold a ticket that weighs about 5 grams in your right hand ??!! -- Edward Cowling - London - UK |
How to spot twats on the underground....
1) Walk to barrier 2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour later is for 3) Open handbag (because it usually is a woman) 4) Rake around in handbag for a bit 5) Get out purse 6) Find ticket in purse 7) Try to insert ticket in top of machine 8) Realise mistake and insert ticket in the front of the machine 9) Stand there for a bit wondering why gates haven't opened 10) Take ticket from machine, gates open 11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through 12) Pass through the barrier .... or is it just me who comes across these idiots? Unfortunely London Underground do not offer a resdential training course for customers about how to use ticket barriers. So those scum that dare to use London Underground for the first time or only occasionaly should obviously be banned. If people not going through ticket barriers in less than 5.8 seconds bothers you so much why not just use a different gate? As a casual user of London Underground it is blantly obvious to me its the regular users who can go through the gates at London Underground who are the problem. These people usually travel before 9am and after 5pm and do one or more of the following: 1) Tut loudly when your valid ticket flashes up "Seek Assistance" and then glare at you like your scum when you try and find someone to help 2) Interupt and shout at staff until they get attention when their ticket does the same even if the member of staff is busy 3) Refers to the tourists who add billions of pounds to the economy anually as "f*cking tourists". Miss "I Live in Sussex But Come In London To Make Money Because A Job Where I Live Doesn't Pay So Much and Probably Have Slightly Less Right To Be London Than The Tourists Who Actually Are Spending Nights In London Even If Its In A Hotel" you know who you are. 4) Does not see anyone else when they crash into them. Collide with them. Kick their things. 5)Can not understand why when your holding on to a laptop case and two other bags crushed on a train trying to keep your balance as there is nothing to hold on and the station comes into a station you do not leap out of there way straight away but infact waits until the train comes to a stop or about to come to a stop ignoring their "excuse me's" when start 3 seconds after they discover they are smaller than you and can not budge you out of the way. I prefer the people who don't know how to use the ticket machines. Or the gates. Or can't understand the map. Or stand in the door because they don't think about moving down the platform for the simple reason that at least these people are polite. If you ask them to move out of the way from standing in the middle of the passage staring at the map they will. Not just look at you as those things with legs and arms that are on the train when I get on the train don't usually talk why is this one talking? |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"CJG Now Thankfully Living In The North" wrote in message m... Unfortunely London Underground do not offer a resdential training course for customers about how to use ticket barriers. So those scum that dare to use London Underground for the first time or only occasionaly should obviously be banned. If people not going through ticket barriers in less than 5.8 seconds bothers you so much why not just use a different gate? As a casual user of London Underground it is blantly obvious to me its the regular users who can go through the gates at London Underground who are the problem. These people usually travel before 9am and after 5pm and do one or more of the following: 1) Tut loudly when your valid ticket flashes up "Seek Assistance" and then glare at you like your scum when you try and find someone to help 2) Interupt and shout at staff until they get attention when their ticket does the same even if the member of staff is busy 3) Refers to the tourists who add billions of pounds to the economy anually as "f*cking tourists". Miss "I Live in Sussex But Come In London To Make Money Because A Job Where I Live Doesn't Pay So Much and Probably Have Slightly Less Right To Be London Than The Tourists Who Actually Are Spending Nights In London Even If Its In A Hotel" you know who you are. 4) Does not see anyone else when they crash into them. Collide with them. Kick their things. 5)Can not understand why when your holding on to a laptop case and two other bags crushed on a train trying to keep your balance as there is nothing to hold on and the station comes into a station you do not leap out of there way straight away but infact waits until the train comes to a stop or about to come to a stop ignoring their "excuse me's" when start 3 seconds after they discover they are smaller than you and can not budge you out of the way. I prefer the people who don't know how to use the ticket machines. Or the gates. Or can't understand the map. Or stand in the door because they don't think about moving down the platform for the simple reason that at least these people are polite. If you ask them to move out of the way from standing in the middle of the passage staring at the map they will. Not just look at you as those things with legs and arms that are on the train when I get on the train don't usually talk why is this one talking? Sounds almost like a Ben Elton rant from the early Eighties ;-) |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 at 08:41:58, Dan Gravell
wrote: Don't get that much myself... but I suppose that's a dubious advantage of most of my travelling being through Streatham which, alas, doesn't have gates. Why "alas"? Actually, I am always intrigued that Blackfriars main line doesn't, either, so any computer keeping track of what I do with my season ticket must get very confused..... first heard of on a bus headed towards Streatham, then next reappears at Blackfriars LUL..... Or, even worse, when I get on the system at Clapham or Stockwell and then simply disappear - if I change at Bank, as I occasionally do, on to the DLR, there is no exit gate..... -- Annabel Smyth http://www.amsmyth.demon.co.uk/index.html Website updated 8 March 2004 |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Annabel Smyth wrote:
Why "alas"? Actually, I am always intrigued that Blackfriars main line doesn't, either, so any computer keeping track of what I do with my season ticket must get very confused..... first heard of on a bus headed towards Streatham, then next reappears at Blackfriars LUL..... Or, even worse, when I get on the system at Clapham or Stockwell and then simply disappear - if I change at Bank, as I occasionally do, on to the DLR, there is no exit gate..... Well I don't know about the economics of whether buying new gates make sense, but just from a naive revenue protection/subjectively moralistic point of view. As far as I'm concerned the system must think I'm constantly on the system making circular trips from City Thameslink and London Bridge :D Dan |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Edward Cowling wrote:
Left handed ticket users can be hilarious. Some do a kind of contortion to use their left hand to insert the ticket. I even had one put the ticket in my slot on the next barrier to the left, which was nice of him :-) All these contortions and you can't help thinking how hard can it be to hold a ticket that weighs about 5 grams in your right hand ??!! Right handed *******s are the ones I find infuriating, especially the stupid ****s that have the audacity to design systems like ticket barriers the wrong way round. I've absolutely no tolerance for right handed people, they're the most bigoted arrogant ****s you're ever likely to find on the underground. -- Ian Tindale |
How to spot twats on the underground....
In article , Edward Cowling wrote:
Left handed ticket users can be hilarious. Some do a kind of contortion to use their left hand to insert the ticket. I even had one put the ticket in my slot on the next barrier to the left, which was nice of him :-) All these contortions and you can't help thinking how hard can it be to hold a ticket that weighs about 5 grams in your right hand ??!! Not very hard at all, which is why I've always used my right hand for this despite being left-handed. There really are people who don't (assuming they have no disability depriving them of the use of their right hand)?! Niklas -- merl so when is BGP going to die Salkin When BGP dies, will the tombstone say "RIP"? |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"CJG Now Thankfully Living In The North" wrote in
message m... 1) Walk to barrier 2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour later is for 3) Open handbag (because it usually is a woman) 4) Rake around in handbag for a bit 5) Get out purse 6) Find ticket in purse 7) Try to insert ticket in top of machine 8) Realise mistake and insert ticket in the front of the machine 9) Stand there for a bit wondering why gates haven't opened 10) Take ticket from machine, gates open 11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through 12) Pass through the barrier .... or is it just me who comes across these idiots? In (2), I think you mean "earlier", not "later"! No, I come across this sort of person very often whenever I go up to London. Their mistake is not that they are unaware of how to use ticket barriers (everyone's got to learn somehow), it's that they stand in front of the barriers behaving like clueless morons instead of having the nouse and the courtesy to stand on one side watching what everyone else does until they've got the hang of things. While they're standing aside, they can also find their ticket. Sadly many people seem to be congenitally incapable of finding their ticket in advance of needing it (eg as they are walking up to the barrier), in the same way that a lot of people (a large proportion of them being women) don't start to look for their cash or credit card in a supermarket queue until they are presented with the bill. One thing that most people do manage to get right is the stand-on-the-right-overtake-on-the-left rule on escalators on the Underground. If only they would do the same on escalators in shops instead of standing side-by-side blocking the whole width. |
How to spot twats on the underground....
In article m, Martin Underwood wrote:
One thing that most people do manage to get right is the stand-on-the-right-overtake-on-the-left rule on escalators on the Underground. If only they would do the same on escalators in shops instead of standing side-by-side blocking the whole width. Indeed. Another thing most people get right is letting people off the train before trying to get on. Most of those who don't get this right (seems to be more common on NR than on the Underground) seem to be teenagers, and some even have the gall to be offended when I insist on getting off first. Niklas -- There are many roller coaster rides that are basically railguns. -- Willem |
How to spot twats on the underground....
In message m, Martin
Underwood writes Sadly many people seem to be congenitally incapable of finding their ticket in advance of needing it (eg as they are walking up to the barrier), in the same way that a lot of people (a large proportion of them being women) don't start to look for their cash or credit card in a supermarket queue until they are presented with the bill. This was mentioned on here a while ago and since then I've made it a point to notice whether more women than men have trouble finding their tickets. From my experience I'd say that it's fairly evenly balanced with women having to search in the bottom of their handbags for the elusive ticket and men have to search through several days worth of old tickets in their many pockets. -- Kat Me, Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Ian Tindale" wrote in message
... Edward Cowling wrote: Left handed ticket users can be hilarious. Some do a kind of contortion to use their left hand to insert the ticket. I even had one put the ticket in my slot on the next barrier to the left, which was nice of him :-) All these contortions and you can't help thinking how hard can it be to hold a ticket that weighs about 5 grams in your right hand ??!! Right handed *******s are the ones I find infuriating, especially the stupid ****s that have the audacity to design systems like ticket barriers the wrong way round. I've absolutely no tolerance for right handed people, they're the most bigoted arrogant ****s you're ever likely to find on the underground. Two points: - Right-handers are the majority, so it's not unreasonable that where a design has to be "handed", right-handed is chosen. - Why should an action such as holding a ticket be a "handed" operation? I'm sure as a right-hander I'd have no difficulty whatsoever holding a ticket in my left hand and feeding into a slot on the left side of the barrier if that's how the barriers were designed. Are left-handed people less ambidextrous (apart from skilled actions like writing) than right-handed people? |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Niklas Karlsson" wrote in message ... In article m, Martin Underwood wrote: One thing that most people do manage to get right is the stand-on-the-right-overtake-on-the-left rule on escalators on the Underground. If only they would do the same on escalators in shops instead of standing side-by-side blocking the whole width. Indeed. Another thing most people get right is letting people off the train before trying to get on. Most of those who don't get this right (seems to be more common on NR than on the Underground) seem to be teenagers, and some even have the gall to be offended when I insist on getting off first. I'm surprised that no-one has tried to introduce a policy of stand-on-the-left (for both inside and outside) at train and bus doorways, which would allow people to get on and off simultaneously. |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Kat" wrote in message
... In message m, Martin Underwood writes Sadly many people seem to be congenitally incapable of finding their ticket in advance of needing it (eg as they are walking up to the barrier), in the same way that a lot of people (a large proportion of them being women) don't start to look for their cash or credit card in a supermarket queue until they are presented with the bill. This was mentioned on here a while ago and since then I've made it a point to notice whether more women than men have trouble finding their tickets. From my experience I'd say that it's fairly evenly balanced with women having to search in the bottom of their handbags for the elusive ticket and men have to search through several days worth of old tickets in their many pockets. I've no quibble with people of either sex having to hunt for their ticket, credit card or whatever. But common sense and courtesy to people behind suggests that you do it *before* you stand in the queue so you don't delay other people. |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Martin Underwood" wrote in message
s.com... - Why should an action such as holding a ticket be a "handed" operation? I'm sure as a right-hander I'd have no difficulty whatsoever holding a ticket in my left hand and feeding into a slot on the left side of the barrier if that's how the barriers were designed. Are left-handed people less ambidextrous (apart from skilled actions like writing) than right-handed people? To me it isn't a problem, I'm left handed, and can happily work a ticket gate with my right hand, I also do other things the right handed way, I use a computer mouse with the right. I believe it is also common for left handed people to hold a knife and fork wrong, with the knife in the left - not me though. Its these silly people who start requiring Left handed clocks that work backwards and such which make left handed people seem strange. |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Darren" ] wrote in message
... "Martin Underwood" wrote in message s.com... - Why should an action such as holding a ticket be a "handed" operation? I'm sure as a right-hander I'd have no difficulty whatsoever holding a ticket in my left hand and feeding into a slot on the left side of the barrier if that's how the barriers were designed. Are left-handed people less ambidextrous (apart from skilled actions like writing) than right-handed people? To me it isn't a problem, I'm left handed, and can happily work a ticket gate with my right hand, I also do other things the right handed way, I use a computer mouse with the right. I believe it is also common for left handed people to hold a knife and fork wrong, with the knife in the left - not me though. Its these silly people who start requiring Left handed clocks that work backwards and such which make left handed people seem strange. My mum is left-handed. But she was brought up to use her knife and fork in the conventional hands (ie knife in right hand) and to use a right-handed pair of scissors. All these actions are unskilled ones which don't require any great dexterity[*], unlike writing: she cannot write with her right hand to save her life, just as I cannot write with my left hand. For writing, she holds her pen in an exact mirror-image to a right-handed person (ie with the cap of the pen pointing over her left shoulder) unlike most left-handed people who hold it very awkwardly, facing away from them to the right, and with their wrists/little fingers above rather than below the line of writing. I've just tried using my computer mouse with my left hand. It feels ever so slightly odd, but I'm sure within a couple of minutes I'd be used to it. [*] Excuse the pun: I know that etymologically "dexterity" relates to the right hand! |
How to spot twats on the underground....
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How to spot twats on the underground....
Niklas Karlsson wrote in message ...
Indeed. Another thing most people get right is letting people off the train before trying to get on. Most of those who don't get this right (seems to be more common on NR than on the Underground) seem to be teenagers, and some even have the gall to be offended when I insist on getting off first. Niklas From my experience, when they get older (I won't say "grow up") they all go and live in Maidenhead! I never understand why, particularly if it's a crowded train, anyone even thinks there's room to get on until others have got off. It was much easier fo me a couple of years ago: it is hard for anyone to get on whilst a pushchair is coming off. PhilD -- |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"PhilD" wrote in message om... Niklas Karlsson wrote in message ... Indeed. Another thing most people get right is letting people off the train before trying to get on. Most of those who don't get this right (seems to be more common on NR than on the Underground) seem to be teenagers, and some even have the gall to be offended when I insist on getting off first. Niklas From my experience, when they get older (I won't say "grow up") they all go and live in Maidenhead! I never understand why, particularly if it's a crowded train, anyone even thinks there's room to get on until others have got off. It was much easier fo me a couple of years ago: it is hard for anyone to get on whilst a pushchair is coming off. PhilD -- Just chipping in...this is one of the things that annoys me most. I have to trek around, at the moment with a knee brace. I did it for the first time in London yesterday. Now, it was very much on show because I was wearing a skirt. Everytime I went to get off a train, it was exceptionally difficult to bend my knee, and I ended up jumping, or hopping down. People were tutting, and pushing me back into the train. Is it so difficult to wait a few seconds while someone gets off? And, even before the doors have opened, they are crowding around it waiting to get on, not leaving any space for those who wish to get off. Many times yesterday I shoved myself through groups of people waiting at the doors, and got "you piece of scum" looks. And for the first time yesterday, I actually swore at people who couldn't be patient. It's difficult enough for me at the moment to get on trains, I don't need it made more difficult to get off. Now, the idiots who ignore the "Keep Left" signs in tunnels and on stairs...that's another story. Laura-Ann ----------------- |
How to spot twats on the underground....
In article , Darren
] writes Its these silly people who start requiring Left handed clocks that work backwards and such which make left handed people seem strange. Left-hand clocks are a joke. Scissors only work if held in the right hand. If you want ones for use in the left hand, they need to be constructed in a different way. If you're left-handed, you might find such scissors better for detailed work. -- Clive D.W. Feather, writing for himself | Home: Tel: +44 20 8495 6138 (work) | Web: http://www.davros.org Fax: +44 870 051 9937 | Work: Written on my laptop; please observe the Reply-To address |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Clive D. W. Feather" wrote in message
... In article , Darren ] writes Its these silly people who start requiring Left handed clocks that work backwards and such which make left handed people seem strange. Left-hand clocks are a joke. Scissors only work if held in the right hand. If you want ones for use in the left hand, they need to be constructed in a different way. If you're left-handed, you might find such scissors better for detailed work. I've tried using left-handed scissors with my left hand - felt a bit funny but soon got used to it. As I said earlier, I wonder if left-handers generally are more polarised to left-handedness and less ambidextrous than right-handers for non-precision tasks? On a related "handedness" issue, I knew someone who had great difficulty driving in mainland Europe becauase she expected the pedals and the arrangement of the gears on the gear lever to be mirror image in an LHD car - she couldn't get her brain around the fact that they were the same as in an RHD car. |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Martin Underwood wrote:
As I said earlier, I wonder if left-handers generally are more polarised to left-handedness and less ambidextrous than right-handers for non-precision tasks? This seems to me to be rather unlikely, as left-handers have to adapt continually to the right-handedness of everyday objects, and should therefore become more ambidextrous than the average right-hander. Possibly resentment about this can lead to some left-handers deliberately (or subconsciously)limiting their apparent ambidexterity? -- Richard J. (to e-mail me, swap uk and yon in address) |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 at 11:37:33, Darren ] wrote:
Its these silly people who start requiring Left handed clocks that work backwards and such which make left handed people seem strange. Sinister, in all senses of the word! -- Annabel Smyth http://www.amsmyth.demon.co.uk/index.html Website updated 8 March 2004 |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 at 10:49:40, Martin Underwood
wrote: Sadly many people seem to be congenitally incapable of finding their ticket in advance of needing it (eg as they are walking up to the barrier), in the same way that a lot of people (a large proportion of them being women) don't start to look for their cash or credit card in a supermarket queue until they are presented with the bill. This is because we - I, at any rate - are far too busy packing up our shopping while it is being passed to us, rather than requiring the shop assistant to put it down in an increasingly unwieldy pile and causing immense delays to the next person while we try to sort it out. Once the shopping is packed, we pay for it. -- Annabel Smyth http://www.amsmyth.demon.co.uk/index.html Website updated 8 March 2004 |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 21:02:48 +0100, Annabel Smyth wrote:
This is because we - I, at any rate - are far too busy packing up our shopping while it is being passed to us, rather than requiring the shop assistant to put it down in an increasingly unwieldy pile and causing immense delays to the next person while we try to sort it out. I've always been impressed by Aldi's approach - throw it back into the trolley, then you move away and pack it at your leisure at a separate "shelf" provided for the purpose (or into stack boxes in your car, thus saving bags). They are *very* quick. That said, in "normal" supermarkets I tend to find my credit card while approaching the till, and place it on the handy shelf bit (while making it obvious to the shop assistant that I have done so) such that payment can be being processed while I finish the packing. OK, someone could nick it, but it's unlikely. Neil -- Neil Williams in Milton Keynes, UK Mail me on neil at the above domain; mail to the above address is NOT read |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Annabel Smyth" wrote in message ... On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 at 10:49:40, Martin Underwood wrote: Sadly many people seem to be congenitally incapable of finding their ticket in advance of needing it (eg as they are walking up to the barrier), in the same way that a lot of people (a large proportion of them being women) don't start to look for their cash or credit card in a supermarket queue until they are presented with the bill. This is because we - I, at any rate - are far too busy packing up our shopping while it is being passed to us, rather than requiring the shop assistant to put it down in an increasingly unwieldy pile and causing immense delays to the next person while we try to sort it out. Once the shopping is packed, we pay for it. Interesting: I get my wallet out while I'm waiting in the queue (God knows, I've got long enough!) and put the card loose inside the folded wallet. Then when I start to pack, the wallet goes right next to me by the "wall" that stops the goods falling on the floor as you're packing them, so it's right where I can see it and it won't get nicked. Now I can pack, safe in the knowledge that when I'm asked to pay, I can hand over the card immediately, go back to packing while the card is swiped, and then interrupt the packing again briefly while I sign. Who said men can't multi-task? ;-) I wouldn't dream of *starting* to locate my wallet only when I was asked to pay. Maybe that's a man thing. PS: Next week's rant... drivers (especially of automatic cars) who sit with their foot on the footbrake (instead of slipping the car into neutral and putting their handbrake on) when they're stopped for ages at traffic lights - this blinds the driver behind (eg me) at night! |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 21:27:51 +0000, Martin Underwood wrote:
PS: Next week's rant... drivers (especially of automatic cars) who sit with their foot on the footbrake (instead of slipping the car into neutral and putting their handbrake on) when they're stopped for ages at traffic lights - this blinds the driver behind (eg me) at night! Way off topic, but I agree. Also, it is a safety risk - with the handbrake off, a car which is rear-end shunted is much more likely to go into the car in front of it as well, as the shock will cause the driver to release the footbrake. Even worse, if said driver is at the front they could be shunted into the path of oncoming traffic, making an already unpleasant accident even worse. Mind you, I'd rather they used their footbrake than held the car on the clutch - apart from wearing their clutch out, this particular breed of driver tends to roll disconcertingly back and forth, totally oblivious to the most useful handle that can be found to their left. Said people tend to use the excuse that overuse of the handbrake will stretch the cable - but I'd much rather pay for a new handbrake cable than the small fortune it tends to cost to do a clutch on a modern front-wheel-drive car... Neil -- Neil Williams in Milton Keynes, UK Mail me on neil at the above domain; mail to the above address is NOT read |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 at 21:27:51, Martin Underwood
wrote: I wouldn't dream of *starting* to locate my wallet only when I was asked to pay. Maybe that's a man thing. Well, I don't need to "locate" mine, since I know precisely where it is! And if I don't have much to pack, then I have it out, but otherwise, I get it out when I need it, and not a moment before. -- Annabel Smyth http://www.amsmyth.demon.co.uk/index.html Website updated 8 March 2004 |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Nick Cooper wrote in article ... Detrained at Lambeth North this morning. Lanky bald ******* got into the lift just as the doors opened, and then stood there repeatedly punching the operation button until they closed again. When he went through the barriers, it flashed up "child" on the display. He even "child" can be legal, check "Fares for 2004" "child fares == child 5-15 and 'New Deal' photocard holders" You have to be unemployed for 18 months I think and Jobcentre Plus issue them. -- Mike D |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Neil Williams wrote:
On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 21:27:51 +0000, Martin Underwood wrote: PS: Next week's rant... drivers (especially of automatic cars) who sit with their foot on the footbrake (instead of slipping the car into neutral and putting their handbrake on) when they're stopped for ages at traffic lights - this blinds the driver behind (eg me) at night! Way off topic, but I agree. Also, it is a safety risk - with the handbrake off, a car which is rear-end shunted is much more likely to go into the car in front of it as well, as the shock will cause the driver to release the footbrake. I disagree with that. An unexpected forward movement is more likely to cause the driver to press harder on the pedal in order to stop it. Anyway, if the vehicle in front remains stationary, the shunt will have more severe consequences for the vehicle behind and its occupants, so why is it safer? -- Richard J. (to e-mail me, swap uk and yon in address) |
How to spot twats on the underground....
On Thu, 29 Apr 2004 23:25:51 +0000, Richard J. wrote:
I disagree with that. An unexpected forward movement is more likely to cause the driver to press harder on the pedal in order to stop it. Anyway, if the vehicle in front remains stationary, the shunt will have more severe consequences for the vehicle behind and its occupants, so why is it safer? I suppose it's a toss-up between greater damage/injury on 2 vehicles only versus lesser damage/injury on a larger number of vehicles. That assumes, as I said, that no vehicle is shunted through the lights/onto the roundabout into the path of oncoming traffic[1], which could prove a *lot* nastier. It also assumes that sufficient space is left between stationary vehicles such that it will only involve 2 of them; a lot of drivers don't realise the value of doing that and simply pull up to within 6" of the bumper in front. [1] I've had that (almost) happen to me once - was hit from behind by someone doing about 50mph who didn't see fit to brake for a roundabout just as I was releasing the handbrake to set off. Nothing *was* coming (otherwise I'd not have been setting off) but it was quite scary. Not fun. Neil -- Neil Williams in Milton Keynes, UK Mail me on neil at the above domain; mail to the above address is NOT read |
How to spot twats on the underground....
Stuart wrote in message
snip 1) Walk to barrier 2) Realise what that little piece of card they were given half an hour later is for 3) Open handbag (because it usually is a woman) 4) Rake around in handbag for a bit 5) Get out purse 6) Find ticket in purse Or then decide to use the next barrier, the one that I had decided to use a few seconds earlier, and so walk straight in front of me. In fact I find the most annoying thing about these barriers are women (invariably) who will try to race you to the barrier and then, when you've decided to use the neighbouring one (no need to fight over a barrier when there are two), will stop you doing so by moving straight in front of you. We don't need the bloody barriers in any case. Penalty fares and inspectors would speed things up a lot. 7) Try to insert ticket in top of machine 8) Realise mistake and insert ticket in the front of the machine 9) Stand there for a bit wondering why gates haven't opened 10) Take ticket from machine, gates open 11) Stand there for a bit wondering if it's safe to go through 12) Pass through the barrier I can tolerate this one because it's more predictable Paul |
How to spot twats on the underground....
"Richard J." wrote in message ... Martin Underwood wrote: As I said earlier, I wonder if left-handers generally are more polarised to left-handedness and less ambidextrous than right-handers for non-precision tasks? This seems to me to be rather unlikely, as left-handers have to adapt continually to the right-handedness of everyday objects, and should therefore become more ambidextrous than the average right-hander. Possibly resentment about this can lead to some left-handers deliberately (or subconsciously)limiting their apparent ambidexterity? -- There are far more buses in London than ticket gates but all the buses I use have the Oyster card reader on the left! If Richard is right, this will cause chaos and confusion for the right handers who don't normally have to adapt to left-handedness. Then, of course, there's the bit about resentment.... Personally, as a right hander, I don't find it a problem Terry |
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