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Old April 27th 04, 11:39 AM posted to uk.local.london,uk.transport.london,uk.transport
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First recorded activity at LondonBanter: Jul 2003
Posts: 68
Default Too many smelly people in London

X-posted to u.t.l & u.t for added merriment
"Seanie O'Kilfoyle" wrote in message
news:sbrjc.9$n52.8@newsfe6-win...

"john" wrote in message
...

"Eugene Kent" wrote in message
...
You'll get use to it.

What are you sick?

Do you have some sort of armpit fetish, or stinky fat person fetish.

You dont get used to it.

John.



Use your own vehicle then

You'll have to pay an extra £5:00 per day CONgestion tax (more than

probably
rising to £10:00 if you don't vote Londons 'Mare, Mad Ken Living****e out

in
June) and about £20 a day for parking in central London

You'll get snide looks and abusive remarks from trendy neo-leftists &
Hippies on rusty push-bikes who'll think you're the anti-Christ

BUT.........

You'll enjoy a seamles Door-to-door service

The only **** you'll smell is your own ****

You get to chose your own music

You can make eye-contact with your fellow commuters without them thinking
you're about to murder them

You set your own temperature (providing you have a decent enough vehicle)

You are the master of your own destiny and not at the mercy of :

Leaves on the line

Wrong kind of snow

"Passenger action"

"Security Alerts"

Millitant trade unionists

"Points, (Signal / Mechanical) failure"

"Staff Shortages"

Spontaneous combustion

The queue for the ticket machine

Jobsworth who can't let you on without the right change

Overcrowded buses / trains / trams / tubes that can't pick you up because
they are full

The singing drunk who somehow always manages to sit right next you

Reckless Drivers (& tram / train / tube operators)

Pickpockets

Theives

Druggies

Yobs

Pushers and shovers

Airborne viruses

Beggars

Grafitti "artists"

Window etchers

Seat Slashers

Urinators

Vigillantes

Suicide bombers (and other assorted terrorists)

Vagrants

Maurauding posses of yoof gangs

Vandals

Persons relaeased early under the Mental Health acts "Care in the

community"
program

Bitter, twisted, dissafected and miserable drivers, guards, station staff
etc

Neo Nazi "Revenue Protection" officers

'Mare Ken commuting home

And a whole crowd of edgy, paranoid punters living in constant fear of the
above




 
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